As I learn about the D/s lifestyle, I find that there many different flavors of Doms. More flavors than you’ll find at Ben and Jerry’s. Here are a few that stand out to me.
(Disclaimer: I am new to this lifestyle so if I offend anyone by not including their category, I sincerely apologize. Feel free to enlighten me with your comments)
The Sadist/Pain Dom: Aka the “cruel bastard” who wants to cause you pain. But he assures you, you will like and beg for more. Better for the experienced sub. (I have yet to work with a Pain Dom…but I imagine this would be Mr. Bond)
The Sensual Dom: He will help you test your limits in a softer, more controlled way. Utilizing sensory deprivation along with his sub’s response to stimuli, His is a path of exploration. (I would put Sir in this category when he channels his inner Dom. This is also the style of “Father D” see below)
The Bondage Dom: He uses restraint to dominate. These Dom’s have a hint of cruel bastard in them, but are really Boy Scouts at heart. They are focused on the details of the restraint and the level of restraint and they typically hand out punishment, freely. (And although I haven’t named him until now, this is Don “Knots” aka, the hog-tier)
The Daddy Dom: He is the protector. He will use his nurturing spirit to control his sub. Of all of the Dom’s out there, this one can be the most controlling. They are able to sense their sub’s vulnerabilities and always seem to save the day. It’s no wonder they are able to dominate so effectively. They are the perfect blend of discipline and reward and are very much like the Sensual Dom. (This is “Father D”)
PLEASE NOTE: There is another category of Daddy Dom. They are protectors that are exclusively into age-play. Personally, I find it a little unsettling. Not judging, just my opinion.
The Daddy Dom dynamic (those not into age play) leads me to the subject of Father D.
As I was packing for the trip to see the good doctor, I received a message from Father D on alt.com. Like Marky Mark, he had messaged before. In his first message he mentioned that he was from my hometown…where I currently live. I didn’t respond because quite frankly, I prefer to outsource for this type of thing.
But you know I admire certain qualities in a Dom…persistence is high on the list.
So we messaged for a while. He was intelligent and witty. And he could spell properly. (I am not an OCD grammar Nazi, obviously, but I enjoy a person that spells correctly) I liked him already. In our messages I told him that I was packing to go to the island to meet the shrink. He was perplexed that I was driving all that way for a vanilla date. And I didn’t disclose the doc’s piercing, as I just didn’t find a way to bring it up.
And did I say that Father D was a former cop? Keeps a mental register of everything. Wonder if I should name him CSI?
He said, “I am coming to the island too”
“Why?” I asked.
“In case you need me. You don’t know this guy. What if he’s psycho? Or worse, what if you have to sit through a miserable date and then stay at his place?”
Great point, little did I know it was a foreshadowing of the date.
And he said, “Whether or not the evening works out, we can meet for breakfast in the morning”
Thinking of my need to focus spiritually, I tested him and said, “Ok, but you need to find us a church to attend. I need to further my spiritual journey.”
He said, “Great! I will find us a good one and I will see you in the morning, baby girl.”
Baby Girl? That was different, but I kind of liked it.
So we met in the morning. I have punctuality issues (as you know by my other posts…it’s a reoccurring theme. A certain person I know reading this, would call it SABOTAUGE) so we did not make it to church. But we were able to spend some considerable time getting to know one another.
He was a tall, handsome, charming man. The kind of man that hugs you with his body and soul when he hugs you and he means the hug.
Genuine. Real. Dressed for church. Dashing….
And VERY much a Dom.
I felt small in his arms. I felt protected. I felt safe. (New territory for me. Scary territory. Feeds my inner fear-junkie)
He was fascinating. He was well-traveled. He was successful.
He had been in the lifestyle for many years, and lost his last sub to a car accident three years prior.
He was very clear about what he was looking for:
“I want the blend. A person that I can date in the vanilla world and dominate in the open and in the privacy of the bedroom.”
Now that’s different. I didn’t know how to respond. Most of these encounters are shrouded. They are secret. He wants to be in the open???
He said, “The best way to hide is in plain sight!”
Brilliant, I thought. Why didn’t I think about that myself?
So when it was time for me to get on the road back home to reality, he asked me to walk with him to his car. When we got inside, he pulled a Bluetooth out and handed it to me.
“It’s safer if we talk hands-free. Here’s a Bluetooth for you.”
What? For me? This protector wants nothing more than to protect his baby girl. (Motivation: So he can spank her later, I assume? 🙂
I would normally reject this type of behavior, because in the open world I am a fierce woman who is self-sufficient. I am a Marine in my head. I can get my own damned Bluetooth!
But Father D knew me better. He showed me how to wear the earpiece. I couldn’t make it happen (honestly folks, had you seen my hair, you would have understood, it is the beach after all.)
So he moved my hair and fixed it for me. Just like a father would. Then we tested it.
“I want to know you are safe on the road. I will call you in a few minutes, baby girl.” And then he planted a kiss on my lips and reached into my mess of a mane and pulled my hair.
Asserting his dominance. How sublime.
Hidden in the open, just like he said.
Father D is definitely on to something with that.
I’m feeling a childlike excitement about where this is going. Maybe that’s why he calls me, “baby Girl”
But I can also see a glimmer of the cruel bastard in there when he grins.
So I’ll close this post with one of my (many) guilty pleasures. 80’s music.
I will be your Father Figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher/teacher
Anything you have in mind
And Father D….he’s taking me to church on Sunday. Details to come…