Knowing My Place

Hello there. Where were we? I hate to admit, I don’t even remember. I’ve been away from this blog for a long time. I felt like our story was told. M and I found something we both wanted. We found each other. We found our rhythm as a D/s couple. We found our groove as a family. And despite rocky roads and winding paths, life is good.

I’ve started a side job…more like a side-hustle. By day, I work in my own consulting firm. By night, I am a phone sex operator. Yes. It’s true. I get on the phones late at night and speak with a variety of callers. It is interesting and fun.  M is fine with me chatting up these anonymous gents. The money is good. And for the most part, it’s easy work. The only issue is that I work late hours. Those late hours cut into “our time” and we fall asleep before we can have any fun.

Most couples struggle to find connection because we are inundated with responsibility. Being pulled in so many directions, often clouds our vision. Even the mirror is foggy and we cannot see who we are. That’s when it’s high time for a reminder.

Last night, I had a very long call. It was originally a 30 minute request, that turned into a two and a half hour conversation. By the time I finished, M was already in the bed. He was lying there completely naked, with a sheet over him. I looked at him and contemplated waking him up. I wanted him so badly. But I realized he was tired. He’s been working long hours and he appeared to be sleeping deeply. I quietly got into bed and rolled over to go to sleep.

“Get down between my legs, slut.” he commanded.

I was shocked. I thought he was asleep. I slowly rolled towards him when he said in a more direct tone. “Down between my legs. Suck my cock, slut.”

I scurried down to take him into my mouth. It’s been a while since he talked to me like that. I was aroused and eager to please him. I felt his hand on my head, pulling me by the hair as he guided the pace. He was forceful and aggressive. I loved it.

“Don’t take it deep, unless I tell you, slut. Or unless I shove it down your throat like this.”  And he pushed himself into my throat, gagging me. I nodded in approval. “You need to have your face-fucked. You need to be reminded who you are, slave.”

The word “slave”, as if by instinct, caused me to take him deep. Remember, he told me not to, unless he instructed me. He yanked me up by the hair and pulled me off his rock hard dick. Growling at me he said, “No slut. I decide when you take it deep. You are here for my use. Now rub my cock all over your face. Slap your face with my cock, you dirty slave.”

Holy shit it was hot! I was so into our scene. He took anything he wanted from me. He ordered and commanded me to pleasure him as he wanted. He posed my body in the positions he wanted. He reminded me of who I am as he relentlessly used me like a dirty slut.

Because, that is who I am. I am his dirty slut. My purpose is to serve and submit to him. And although our dynamic is ever-present in all we do, it’s nice to have it demonstrated in such a direct way. Such a deliciously dirty way.

The intensity of our scene brought me to subspace. It was a perfect conclusion to our night. As the tears fell, I relaxed into his strong arms and let go of everything. Expectations. Responsibilities. Stress. I let go of it all and found my place.

My place is right there. In his capable grasp. Under his spell.

In love.

In service to Him.

know my place

(photo credit, Pinterest)

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The Natural

the natural

 

A friend told me that if I was a serial killer, I would be a collector.  She went on to say that I would keep a token from each of those I killed.

WHAT????

I asked her where she got such a crazy thought.

Her reply, “I read your blog. You savor each experience.  Sharing them is like collecting a piece of it for yourself to have as a memento.”

How interesting….I love that she went there.  Great correlation.

And what a good friend to enlighten me.  (If ever I do have the inclination to off one of my suitors, I will be sure to keep a finger or some appendage to reminisce…I digress…)

Which brings me to this post.  I am struggling to write this one.  I almost don’t want to share it.

I don’t want to decide how to tag it.

How to categorize it.

How to label it.

In fact, I cannot come up with a proper blog name for Him. I cannot find a fit.

I can’t put a label on Him.

He’s different.

Surprisingly different.

(Yes, this is the man I mentioned in my last post, “All These Things…”)

We met in a very typical way, on OK Cupid.  He messaged me about my profile and his message seemed sincere.  It was not appearance-based, which was refreshing.  He seemed to connect with the words on my profile, rather than just my picture.

We began messaging about ourselves…our lives…our work…our experiences with online dating.

We had a sincere connection.  And there was a spark there.

And you know me….in proper fashion,  I decided to sabotage the whole thing, as I sometimes do…and I shared my blog with Him.

Like a select few, it did not scare Him away.

It intrigued Him.  He was not intimidated at all.

Interesting gent…

So we got over that speed bump.

But you know my track record with OKC.  Some have been great and others have seemed perfect and fizzled within the first minutes of our initial meeting.  So I was hesitant.

Will he be real?  Will he be who he seems to be?

We finally agreed to meet on a Wednesday for coffee.  But it turns out on the Monday prior to our date, I was child-free (a rare occurrence in my life) so I asked if he would like to come by my house for coffee.

He was most agreeable.

Around 4:00 pm,  I received a text.

“Here are your instructions for the evening:

1.  Wear a perfume that you like.  I will need to know the name of it, as you will be instructed to wear this each time we meet.

2.  Your safeword is “freeze”

3.  Warning words are yellow and red.  Used like a traffic light

4.  Your pet name is “little girl”

5.  You will address me as Sir.

I will arrive at 8:45.  We will begin our initial meeting in a casual/vanilla way.  I will then take control when I see fit and you will adhere to the guidelines outlined above.”

I love instructions.

But here’s the thing…He was not a seasoned Dom.  In fact, He had just really learned about the lifestyle through my blog.

He had no experience.

Obviously, a quick study.  Or maybe he’s just naturally this way?

I wanted to reply to his instruction with a “DDDAAAAYYYUUUMMM” (southern speak for Damn)

But I simply replied, “Yes Sir”

As usual, I was running behind trying to get the kids settled in at their respective places.  I messaged him and asked for a few more minutes.

He reluctantly gave me 10 additional minutes.

At exactly 8:55, he arrived at my doorstep.

Tall…

Great physique, strong and in command…

Dark-hair…

Handsome…

Looked to me like he could have been closely related to both Tobey Maguire and Joaquin Phoenix.

He had the presence I seek.  It was oozing from his pores.

Again, I speak southern…DAMN

Just as he said, our evening began in a very causal, vanilla way.  About a half hour into our great chat, he looked at me and said,

“Are you ready to play?”

I was beyond ready.

He began the evening with some serious impact play, courtesy of my new riding crop.  He was relentless in his task.  I kept losing track of the number we were on.  He was always willing to start over…

I recall looking back at Him, thinking I may have caught the glimpse of a sadistic grin on his face.

Then things moved into a more mutual physical expression.  We were a perfect match for each other.

The intensity was reciprocal.

Like a storm, we gained momentum together.  Our energy fueled the crazy-hot, furious passion.

He whispered in my ear, the things he planned to do to me.

So hot…

He looked deep into my eyes as he was deeply inside me and then he grinned that slightly sadistic grin…

As he clutched my throat.

His stare was piercing.  The look in his eyes, combined with the pressure around my neck brought me to an entirely different level.  I was heading over my edge.

There was no turning back for either of us.

We arrived at this same place together, with his strong hands around my soft neck.

Sigh…

And I never mentioned breath play to him.  He instinctively went there. He knew what I liked without me having to tell him.

Isn’t that what we all really want?

Someone who gets us.  Who understands our needs without us needing to spell it out?

And as for me, I want it all.

The passion.

His Dominance over me.

My submission to Him.

Our intensity together.

The unspoken understanding between us.

And so far, I have found this with Him.

But still, I hesitate to assign Him a blog name, as I feel He will morph into many different characters.

So for now, let’s call Him….

The Natural.

That says it all…