Pavlov and the Well-Trained Sub

There is a certain amount of training that goes into a D/s relationship. Learning your Master’s rules. His expectations. Learning to obey. Learning to give Him everything…the good, the bad, the ugly and the part of you that’s been hidden away for so long.  It’s a process.

And for the headstrong submissive, it can be a bit challenging at times.

I find it most challenging to give M everything.  I only want to give Him the good, the shiny, the polished, the organized part of myself.  I try to pretend that the forgetful, ADD, scattered, emotional, overwhelmed person doesn’t exist.  And then he sees the inside of my car, and that perfect, shiny illusion is shattered in a matter of seconds.

My life is full of responsibilities and sometimes I get so wrapped up in the “have-to’s” that I forget all of the “want-to’s” in my head.  I think we all do that to an extent.  I find myself so focused on the to-do list, that I sometimes forget that my number one responsibility is to be His.  To give Him all of it, all of me.  And if I do this, He will take my burdens away.  Lucky for me, M is patient.  He understands my reluctance and He gives me the time I need to turn over more and more to His capable hands.

This is all part of my training.  At times, I do forget that I need to be trained.  I am naturally submissive to Him, and I feel that I should innately know how to serve M best.  And in some ways, this is true.  But He is in charge and looking back, I see subtle ways that He has trained me.

When we walk into a store, a restaurant…or anywhere, I stand on his right side, slightly behind his shoulder and he takes my hand and leads me in to where we are going.  There’s a feeling of safety.  A feeling of protection.  I like it.

When we go to a restaurant, He usually orders for me.  He knows what I like and He will ask, “What sounds good to you tonight?” And if I say more than one item, he will choose which entree to order and that’s that.  He never gets it wrong, he knows me so well.  And on a side note…He will, at His discretion, order me a drink from the bar.  Sometimes I think the man is just trying to get me drunk to have His way with me….but He has his way with me anytime, anyway, without the drinks.

He has trained me to have an almost Pavlovian response to certain phrases.

  1. “Assume the position.”  (This means on the bed I am to be on my knees, presenting myself for His use, close enough to His cock to pleasure and worship Him and within His nimble reach.)  These words cause an immediate physical reaction that changes the humidity in a few seconds.  In crass terms, these words make me soaking wet.
  2. “That’s my good girl.” (M says this at different intervals, but almost always praises me when I cum for Him.  When he sees I’ve let go and shed every layer of skin….torn down every wall and revealed myself to Him.) These words evoke a multitude of emotions.  It makes me feel proud that He is pleased with me.  It makes me feel small and submissive.  It makes me want to be His very bad “good girl.”
  3. “Cum for me” (I love the way these words sound whispered in my ear.  The feel of his breathy voice is an automatic turn-on.  And to be quite frank, these words…His command…produces almost immediate results.  He has trained me so thoroughly, that I will cum on command and let go with abandon.
  4. “Suck my cock, little slut”  (Holy mother of Don Draper, those words….those words flip a switch in my brain that turns me into a voracious slave, eager to savor every inch of Him.)

I think it’s fascinating how mere words can produce such a response.  I love that He has such control over me.  That He can elicit such intense reactions from simple phrases.  I often fantasize that we are in a public place where he leans over and whispers one of these catchphrases in my ear and I immediately begin to salivate from my head to my toes.  I turn into a shameless mess of a woman, my only goal to pleasure Him and serve Him.

Pavlov was onto something.  And so is my M.



13 thoughts on “Pavlov and the Well-Trained Sub

  1. The seductive power of a decent vocabulary vs caught in a web of word salad with no escape except though the simplicity and acceptance of non verbal being. Surrendering oneself fully to one’s inner non-verbal aspect of non verbal being results in sustained darkness and being, the inner voice lulled into sleep, words trading in their surface value so they can experience

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love that meme, and your (as always) creative and enjoyable take on it. I am so happy that everything keeps moving along and gelling for you two. I know your life is NOT simple nor easy, and what a gift it must be to have someone able to come into it and know how to take you in hand and rock you to your core.

    Seduction is such an art form, and as many American men just aren’t as versed in the arts–poetry, music, drama, classics–I had always found myself attracted to the foreign man. They had the moves, the seduction, the words, THE LOOK, the joie de vivre and the je ne sais quo, and the romanticism to turn me a gooey, surrendered mess. SK and I have such a very different dynamic and I know that it will morph and change and improve over time… it already has. But I think about SATC Samantha Jones speaking of her younger beau and his lack of experience in the art of seduction, and saying, “He’s got moves, most of them I’ve given him…” I’ve often felt that way about Sir Knight. He didn’t have the moves until I explained what I wanted, and sometimes it’s fumbling for him. He still doesn’t have the words or vocabulary to seduce or to Dominate. The closest he gets is the voice he uses with babies or animals… and well, I know those registers so well that they tend to be a turn off for me. He’s not found his Dom register, and it is difficult and rare for him to truly set a tone for true seduction. I just love him so much that I usually can get myself there, but there are days when it is hard.

    We women who read romance, and have romantic brains, have ideas on how to seduce and fire up the arousal. I wonder if its the same for men? How do they “learn” this art form and exercise this muscle? Does Maestro read, research on line, do you explain to him things that are turn ons?

    You are one lucky girl that after a relatively short amount of time you have a man who can impress your high standards for seduction and word! I envy you!

    And, great to hear your voice again! Hope all else is well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. DD,

      Loved your comments! I must say that I do feel lucky and blessed that M and I found each other. He is what I would consider to be an empath, which allows him to sense and understand what others are feeling on a deeper level. I am convinced it’s his spiritual gift. And this ability to discern slight changes in mood and emotion has proven to be very helpful with all three of the children. It also doesn’t allow me to hide or compartmentalize my feelings, as I have done in my past relationships. It puts everything in the open and makes life transparent. It’s a very healthy place for me. For us. All of us.

      And he just has some major swagger and confidence. For example….
      After buying groceries today he stopped me in the parking lot, slyly grabbed a handful of my hair and laid a kiss on me that made me forget where we’d parked the car. I was a hot and bothered mess the entire drive home. Whew.

      Thanks for stopping by, friend!


  3. Just got around to reading this post. Language is a VERY powerful thing. i’m so happy to read that you M has a way of turning you into a puddle of goo. That is the most blissful feeling of all…isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

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