At a Loss…

closer please

I am at a loss for words…

And yet I sit here, trying to share with you what I experienced this weekend.  Trying to figure out a way to put it out there in words that can be understood.

And even I don’t fully understand it.

Maestro arrived at 5:07 am on Saturday morning.  He decided to sleep for a while after work before making the drive to me, putting him here before daybreak.  Things were different from the beginning.  There was a different feel to his arrival.  It didn’t feel like he was coming for a visit.

It felt like he was coming home.

And after such a long and tedious drive through the night, he was ready for bed.  Or so I thought…

By 6:34 am, I’d had so many orgasms that I felt lightheaded.  Each one was more intense than the previous one.  The freshly laundered sheets were muddled in a matter of minutes and Maestro was intent on pushing further.

With his hand firmly grasping my throat, he growled, “I am not finished using you yet.”

And he carried on with his intent.  Pushing me.  Extracting ecstasy at every move.  I was almost in a state of bewilderment, almost at my limit, when he relented and allowed me respite…giving me the opportunity to please him…to worship him.

We got little sleep and the kids were up very early.  They were excited to see M.  They adore him. We spent the majority of the day playing with them…and the babysitter arrived.  We decided to grab an early dinner.  I could tell Maestro was thinking about something, I could sense it.  As we ate, he said, “I am coming here to stay.  No more traveling back and forth.  This is where I want to be.  I have a job offer and it’s time to make the change.”

I was shocked.  We had been talking about his relocation, with a projected time frame for the summer.  So this was sudden and I was beyond happy.  I need this man, this wonderful man, in my life daily…I need to be in his presence, daily.

So we sat there and planned.  And he will be here this weekend.  This is REALLY happening!

Looking back at the inception of this blog, of my journey at that time…I could have never dreamed that this would happen.  I never dreamed that I would ever find the happiness, as I have with him.  I never knew I could have the whole enchilada…have my cake and savor it too…

Think about it…I have been blessed with a man who loves and adores me.

And I love and adore him.

He loves my kids.

My kids love him.

He loves and accepts my family (my ailing father).

My family LOVES him.

He is able to fulfill my mind (not easy, I am an over-analytical, people pleaser)

He is able to lead and protect me.

He is able to take me to places I’ve never been.

He allows me to be my wickedly kinky self (as he is also wickedly kinky, even more than me).

And here we go…

My Master, as I am His…His slave.

He owns me, saying I am His most precious possession.

And we are about to embark on this crazy journey together as One.

So again, I am at a loss… a loss of what to say… a loss of the mess I was before.

Looking forward to who I have become.  Who I will become…

As we become One.

one day


21 thoughts on “At a Loss…

    1. Thank you Annie! I am so excited and happy and BUSY!!! I am “nesting” around here…trying to get everything in order before M arrives to share my nest!

      Love to you!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Cerita,

      Thank you so much for the sweet comments! I am so excited to begin this new chapter of my life…as His. Growing and learning together. We are in for an adventures, I’m sure!



    1. Thanks, Bunny! I’ve been giddy all week. Don’t think my feet have touched the ground. He arrives tomorrow (Saturday) and so it begins…

      Hugs to you!


    1. Thank you! I don’t know when I have been this excited or this sure about anything. He is a perfect fit into my family, that he now refers to as, “our family”. Good things to come…

      Love to you and yours…


    1. Shalom,

      I’ve been reading about your journey and I think we are on a parallel path. So happy for you. I look forward to living this wonderful life 24/7. He arrives tomorrow (Saturday) and the journey continues!
      Can’t wait!


      Liked by 1 person

  1. Oh, wow girl! You DO have the whole enchilada!! It has gone so fast… and I am so happy that you’ve found what makes you happy! Would love to connect off line with you… I have a feeling that SK and I are eventually headed towards your neck of the woods, possibly in search of our new home someday. You and your story have really touched me!


    Liked by 1 person

    1. DD,

      You are such an inspiration to me…I love reading your posts. You have such authenticity in your words. I am honored that you are touched by my story. I could have never predicted this would have happened. That I would have really found it all. I was prepared to settle for “almost” or “close enough” but God saw fit to send the one who brought it all. And M’s presence in my life is a constant affirmation of God’s presence in my life. I have never been happier or more certain of anything before…and it’s just beginning.
      I would love connect offline and I will send you a message. You’ll love my neck of the woods…everyone is friendly, it’s usually sunny and the overall cost of living is very reasonable. So come on, y’all!

      Thanks so much for your continued support and encouragement.
      Love ya, girl!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Big hugs to you and lots of confetti for your great good fortune! Love having your voice as part of the dialog here. Loving, caring, trustworthy, strong, dominant men who take care of their women. I’d like to create a pill for this… but until we do, let’s tell the stories!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the sweet comments! I think to commemorate this new event…we will be stopping by your store soon…your selection is beautiful.
      (Saw the turquoise one yesterday and I love it…hint, hint, Maestro)

      Take care!


      1. Oh, I’d be so honored!

        I just started this jewelry line about 4 months ago, and I am absolutely stunned by the results. Most of the orders come from male Dominants and I’ve been so touched by the emails they’ve taken the time to send, and telling their stories of love and commitment.

        If you do decide on a piece, please make sure I know before you order, and I’ll give you a discount! If Maestro orders, let him know to contact me. You can email me at

        Enjoy your walk in the clouds!
        My Secret Heart

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, jb! I am so excited I can barely see straight to type this! He will be here tomorrow!!!! And so ti begins…the next chapter.
      I hope you know how much I treasure our friendship!

      Love ya!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah, my sweet girl! You found him! I am beyond happy for you, not to mention mildly envious! Congratulations and wishes for a long happy life, kinky and vanilla!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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