A friend told me that if I was a serial killer, I would be a collector. She went on to say that I would keep a token from each of those I killed.
I asked her where she got such a crazy thought.
Her reply, “I read your blog. You savor each experience. Sharing them is like collecting a piece of it for yourself to have as a memento.”
How interesting….I love that she went there. Great correlation.
And what a good friend to enlighten me. (If ever I do have the inclination to off one of my suitors, I will be sure to keep a finger or some appendage to reminisce…I digress…)
Which brings me to this post. I am struggling to write this one. I almost don’t want to share it.
I don’t want to decide how to tag it.
How to categorize it.
How to label it.
In fact, I cannot come up with a proper blog name for Him. I cannot find a fit.
I can’t put a label on Him.
(Yes, this is the man I mentioned in my last post, “All These Things…”)
We met in a very typical way, on OK Cupid. He messaged me about my profile and his message seemed sincere. It was not appearance-based, which was refreshing. He seemed to connect with the words on my profile, rather than just my picture.
We began messaging about ourselves…our lives…our work…our experiences with online dating.
We had a sincere connection. And there was a spark there.
And you know me….in proper fashion, I decided to sabotage the whole thing, as I sometimes do…and I shared my blog with Him.
Like a select few, it did not scare Him away.
It intrigued Him. He was not intimidated at all.
So we got over that speed bump.
But you know my track record with OKC. Some have been great and others have seemed perfect and fizzled within the first minutes of our initial meeting. So I was hesitant.
Will he be real? Will he be who he seems to be?
We finally agreed to meet on a Wednesday for coffee. But it turns out on the Monday prior to our date, I was child-free (a rare occurrence in my life) so I asked if he would like to come by my house for coffee.
He was most agreeable.
Around 4:00 pm, I received a text.
“Here are your instructions for the evening:
1. Wear a perfume that you like. I will need to know the name of it, as you will be instructed to wear this each time we meet.
2. Your safeword is “freeze”
3. Warning words are yellow and red. Used like a traffic light
4. Your pet name is “little girl”
5. You will address me as Sir.
I will arrive at 8:45. We will begin our initial meeting in a casual/vanilla way. I will then take control when I see fit and you will adhere to the guidelines outlined above.”
I love instructions.
But here’s the thing…He was not a seasoned Dom. In fact, He had just really learned about the lifestyle through my blog.
He had no experience.
Obviously, a quick study. Or maybe he’s just naturally this way?
I wanted to reply to his instruction with a “DDDAAAAYYYUUUMMM” (southern speak for Damn)
But I simply replied, “Yes Sir”
As usual, I was running behind trying to get the kids settled in at their respective places. I messaged him and asked for a few more minutes.
He reluctantly gave me 10 additional minutes.
At exactly 8:55, he arrived at my doorstep.
Great physique, strong and in command…
Looked to me like he could have been closely related to both Tobey Maguire and Joaquin Phoenix.
He had the presence I seek. It was oozing from his pores.
Again, I speak southern…DAMN
Just as he said, our evening began in a very causal, vanilla way. About a half hour into our great chat, he looked at me and said,
“Are you ready to play?”
I was beyond ready.
He began the evening with some serious impact play, courtesy of my new riding crop. He was relentless in his task. I kept losing track of the number we were on. He was always willing to start over…
I recall looking back at Him, thinking I may have caught the glimpse of a sadistic grin on his face.
Then things moved into a more mutual physical expression. We were a perfect match for each other.
The intensity was reciprocal.
Like a storm, we gained momentum together. Our energy fueled the crazy-hot, furious passion.
He whispered in my ear, the things he planned to do to me.
He looked deep into my eyes as he was deeply inside me and then he grinned that slightly sadistic grin…
As he clutched my throat.
His stare was piercing. The look in his eyes, combined with the pressure around my neck brought me to an entirely different level. I was heading over my edge.
There was no turning back for either of us.
We arrived at this same place together, with his strong hands around my soft neck.
And I never mentioned breath play to him. He instinctively went there. He knew what I liked without me having to tell him.
Isn’t that what we all really want?
Someone who gets us. Who understands our needs without us needing to spell it out?
And as for me, I want it all.
His Dominance over me.
My submission to Him.
Our intensity together.
The unspoken understanding between us.
And so far, I have found this with Him.
But still, I hesitate to assign Him a blog name, as I feel He will morph into many different characters.
So for now, let’s call Him….
That says it all…