All These Things that I Have Done…

He was curt in his instruction…

“Come here and lay across my lap”

Without hesitation, I placed myself on his lap.  I was waiting for the first smack across my backside, as I knew it was coming.

He said, “You did well getting here on time today.  I am proud of you. And you did well wearing the panties I asked you to wear.  You are such a good little girl.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

He began rubbing my bottom with his hand.  Slowly caressing me.

“Have you always been such a good girl?  I am sure there have been times that you were bad.  I want to hear about those, little girl.  Tell me…when you were young, what bad things did you do?”

I thought for a moment…

Really?  I showed up on time.  I did as I was instructed.  And now, I have to confess my sins from my younger years?

“Sir, I was a bad teenager.  When I was 13, I had a crush on a older boy.  He asked me to undress and stand in my window as he rode by”

He was pensive in his reply, “Hmmm.  So how old was this boy?”

I knew I was in for it.  “He was 18, Sir.  I was very mature for my age.  He didn’t know how young I was.”

The caressing of my backside became more focused and direct.

“So you undressed for a MAN, when you were a mere 13 years old?” his voice was a bit louder.  His tone was direct.

“Yes, Sir, I did.  I know, I was a bad girl.”

He replied, “Yes you were a very bad little girl.  What do you think your punishment should be?”

Ok…I had this covered.  I knew I would be asked and I had my answer ready.

“How about five spankings?  That was the age difference between us.”

I knew it was a shot in the dark…five was far too low a number for him.

“I like how you are thinking,” he said, “but let’s be realistic.  You need more than that.  Add your age, his age and the difference between the two and add that together.”

Through former experiences I have learned the importance of fast mathematical computation in these scenarios.

Within seconds, I had an answer, “Thirty-six, Sir.”

I could sense that he was impressed with my quick answer.

“Very good, now take off your panties.  Get on the bed, on all fours and prepare yourself, little girl.”

Thirty-six?  Really?  I knew that really meant 72, as Sir requires balance.  I cannot count them until both sides are struck.

As I waited for my punishment, I had a moment of clarity.

Once I pay the penance for my wrongdoing, I am absolved of the sin.

It was done.  Over.  Paid in full.  Not worth another thought.

And at this moment, his punishment took on a different purpose for me.

I realized how this could help me through some of my issues.  Things I have held on to for so many years.  Things I need to let go of to move forward.

He already had an understanding of this.

He knew me already.

He knew what was best for me.

He hand was swift and focused.  Each blow seemed to increase in intensity.  I began to mentally recall my safeword, but didn’t utter it.

He could feel me approaching my limit and he began to ease up.  Then when I least expected it, he would increase the intensity.

He knew exactly what I needed.

At the end of all 72 blows, I was free.  Not that me undressing at age 13 for an older guy was worth 72 spankings, but it illustrated the point and taught me something valuable about myself.

I feel like I am back on the road to enlightenment.

And he is here to help me on my journey.

He gets me.

He’s got me.

So as I prepare for our next meeting, I will reflect on what i need to let go of…what I need to confess.

What I need to purge.

How I need to move forward from…

All these things that i have done…

Over and in, last call for sin
While everyone’s lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I’ve done
All these things that I’ve done

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