Obi Wan Kenobi was a veritable genius…
“These are NOT the droids you are looking for…”
No wiser words have ever been spoken.
I have come to a real conclusion. These Vanilla dates are indeed, NOT the droids I’m looking for.
Mr. Bond tells me that I am wasting my time on “Vanilla” dating sites.
“They cannot give you what you seek.”
Henry Hill waits to hear of the adventures, for the “I told you so” moment.
And yet, I continue to look.
Why? Why do I waste my time? Why do I put myself through the turmoil?
Introspectively, I think it’s a bit of a distraction for me. Fun and entertaining.
And it’s because I think the blend exists. I would love to find the perfect man.
The one I can bring home to family for Christmas dinner…that later that evening, breaks off a limb from the Christmas tree and flogs me senseless. Ties me up with Christmas ribbon. Puts his new riding crop in my stocking.
Now that’s the gift that keeps on giving…sigh
Back to the story…
So after another painful Vanilla date, I find myself drifting, looking at the situation as an outsider looking in.
We sit across a table from each other…sharing small talk and a meal.
He thinks I am a sweet, virtuous single mother of three who works hard and seeks someone to share my life.
I think he is a broken man who is distrusting of women, because they have all “done him wrong” and looks for someone to save the day…by making him…her hero.
I can tell 15 minutes (let’s be honest, 15 seconds) into the date that he’s not worth my time.
He is pure vanilla…it’s seeping from his pores.
I feel like a kitten playing with a ball of yarn, as he has no idea what lurks beneath my sweet exterior.
As we say down South, “Bless his heart.”
I try to lead him into conversation that would give me an indication of whether he has “it in him” at all.
It’s obvious he doesn’t. But I give it the college try and take him on a test drive.
On this drive we visit the town of Mayberry and get a big scoop of vanilla at the local ice cream parlor.
Now, he LOVED the drive. It took him to places he had never experienced on the way to good ole Mayberry. For me, it was neither about the journey or the destination. It was two hours out of my life that could have been better spent researching cell popping and branding.
Because that’s what I am in to…
It’s obvious to me that I have crossed over. I cannot do Vanilla of any sort, any longer.
Bond is right…waste of my time.
Henry Hill is right…it always ends badly.
Obi Wan, I choose the Dark Side.