So I’ve made it clear that I am not a huge fan of the online dating scene. Yet I keep coming back….
In fact, this is not my first rodeo. If you will recall a few months back, I registered on this same dating site and met: Sir, Dr. Pierce and Henry Hill.
Who is Henry, you ask?
If you will recall the movie, Goodfellas, Henry Hill was played by Ray Liotta.
Now ladies, I don’t know if you have the same taste as me, but I have dark and brooding thoughts of Ray Liotta. He just has a swagger about him. A look about him. A way about him.
Henry has his eyes….
We began talking immediately after I posted my profile the first time.
Henry is charming and engaging. He is quick-witted with my same biting sense of humor.
He also possesses a crass way that I find endearing.
And Henry proudly calls himself, Vanilla.
So you’re asking…vanilla again, what gives? I mean aren’t you on a journey here?
I am on a journey.
And I can freely be myself with Henry. He does not judge.
Although he will be the first to say, I told you so…
And we have had some encounters together, but the stars have yet to align for me to fully appreciate his flavor of vanilla. We have yet to seal the deal.
Our time is coming.
Ok…so you’re left scratching your noggin and you’re wondering…did she fall and bump her head? Has one of her Dom’s tied her too tight and she’s lost her sense?
Why is she dishing on a dish she’s not even had yet? A vanilla dish?
I speak of Henry Hill because of who he is to me. Henry and I truly get one another. It’s almost creepy in a “Hey, I’m a serial killer….really???….I am a serial killer, too” way.
Disclaimer: Neither Mr. Hill, nor myself, are serial killers. Just a figure of speech to illustrate my point.
We had lunch the other day and we discussed my journey. I confided in him some of my fears…
Me afraid? And me…admitting that I am afraid?
Who is this person….the blog has been hijacked!
I confided in Henry that I felt a new sense of freedom, of awareness through my experiences. I felt as though I was no longer hiding who I was. But with the freedom comes the fear of uncertainty. I knew who I was before. I knew how to hide. Now that I have been enlightened, what do I do?
I went on to say, that in order to experience that level of freedom, I worried that I would have to “up the ante” in each session. Push more limits.
His reply, “So you found freedom in experiencing the fear, but now you fear the freedom?”
YES!!!! YES!!!!! Nailed it in a nutshell. Right out of the gate.
Hearing it put that way, put it into perspective for me.
How does he do that?
He does that because he’s Henry-freakin-Hill and he knows his game. Perfect blend of intelligence with street smarts and swagger.
What a Goodfella….
Looking forward to the stars aligning….