Monday’s here. It was an amazing weekend.
Friday was a journey that began with sticking my toe in the pool and ended with cliff-diving into the unknown waters of submission.
Saturday was about ritual. It was preparing an altar, myself as the offering. Giving all. Pure submission.
Sunday was a reflection of freedom and acceptance. My own acceptance of the person I am. The freedom of knowing who I am.
Let’s connect the dots on a bigger scale…
As I take this journey into submission and enlightenment, I find a recurring theme.
We all want to connect.
We all want to trust.
It is fundamental in the lifestyle. We connect with those who are likeminded. We seek those who share or complement our interests, our “kinks”. We want to share with others like ourselves.
And each aspect of the lifestyle revolves around trust. Ironically similar in the vanilla world. The difference is we take a much more literal approach in the BDSM existence. We literally demonstrate trust in the roles we play.
Safe. Sane. Consensual.
I learned so much in the 6 hours I spent with Mr. Bond. He is patient and understanding. He understands how to get his sub to freely submit without intimidation. He gets the vulnerability.
I found a smidge of vulnerability in him. During one of our breaks he reflected on the name I chose for him.
“Why do you call me James Bond?”
“Because you are so dashing, Sir. So in control. You have the persona”
“Have you read the books, or just watched the movies?”
I had to think about this one. I recalled reading an early book.
“So you think of me in that way?”
That way? “What do you mean?”
Sir went on to explain that James Bond’s character was based on a real person who was ruthless in his quest to complete his mission, often killing those who stood in his way. Far more intense than the character in the movies (especially during the Roger Moore years, I might add).
“He was a ruthless killer. Is that how you perceive me?”
Interesting. He wonders how I see him. Me, the submissive, how I view him….as the consummate Dominant.
“No, Sir. I see you as the one who truly has it together, is self-assured, self-sufficient and not afraid to push limits.”
There is so much to the D/s dynamic. So much more than the “rules” of play, or the roles themselves, I am finding that it is also about mutual respect. It’s about mutual trust.
When our session became acutely intense and I begged Mr. Bond to stop (intentionally not using my safe word) he would say, “Take it for me, little girl. Say it. Say, ‘I take it for you, Sir.'”
Sometimes I couldn’t even verbalize the words. I didn’t feel that I had enough breath in my body left to say anything.
But I would pull myself together and do it. I would look him in the eye and say, “I take it for you, Sir.”
And after that exchange, I always felt empowered, knowing that Bond had helped me through a limit. And that I was okay. I was better because of it.
Applying that to the vanilla world, wouldn’t it be nice to have someone there to help you overcome your fears? Help you venture out of your comfort zone?
I think those of us in the lifestyle are on to something.
Unfortunately those not in the lifestyle will never understand it.
I must admit…I am a “hot mess” today. Recovering both physically and mentally from the pure intensity of the weekend.
I am bruised on my arms, neck and chest. I have actual bite marks all over the back of my neck, my shoulders, my feet and toes. And I am not sure, but I think Bond may have left his initial on my backside…ever so slightly with his knife. So hot…
But I do love the reminders. They represent the limits we surpassed. Maybe next time Bond will see fit to find some more discreet places to brand me :). (It is summer. We live in the South. No sleeveless or ponytails for me for at least a week)
So Bond, I leave you with this…
If we play together again (and I sincerely hope we do)
Love me Tender, Sir.
I know you already know the words.