He was the closest thing to James Bond that I had met in my 40 years on this earth.
He was handsome. Dear GOD, was he handsome….and charming. And successful. And charismatic. And normal.
And he was a sadist. Yes, you read it correctly…SADIST.
So you ask, “how does a nice girl like you end up with a sadist, like him?” Easy. I went searching for enlightenment.
I tend to be of the mindset that there are no coincidences in the world. That everything happens for a purpose. Sometimes we don’t know the purpose, but we accept and understand that there is a reason behind it all.
He was a sadist. He was here to test my limits.
As referenced in an earlier post, I was exposed to this lifestyle at a young age and it simply is a part of who I am. Learning the ways of the submissive has actually made me resilient and strong. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not a sign of weakness. Being a submissive is a matter of choice. It is a way to show your strength by letting go of the controls.
Mr. Bond was ready to take the controls. Ready to take complete control.
In the days leading up to our first encounter, my new mentor challenged to me to learn to express my desires, which is actually a scary thing to do…digging deep within your darkest places and sharing those thoughts with someone.
He was relentless in his persistence (a foreboding of things to come, I am sure) and I caved in. We communicated via IM. So I had to literally spell it out. How unnerving. Here’s how the conversation went:
Bond: Are you ready to tell me you darkest desires?
Me: Yes, Sir
Bond: Let it out
Me: Trying Sir. Difficult to put into words
Bond: TRY HARDER
Me: Here goes…BTW what’s your experience with knives?
Bond: A favored tool of the trade
Me: I am tied to the bed…all four corners
Bond: Face up or face down?
Me: Face up. You are hovering over me, plotting your next move. You stroke my face tenderly. Then you grin. It’s a sadistic grin and I can tell something is about to happen.
Bond: What do I do to you? Tell me
Me: You thrust yourself inside me. Taking me completely
Me: You won’t allow me to finish. You say, “You’re not allowed to cum, young lady. If you do, there will be consequences” But it’s beyond that. I can’t turn back
Bond: So you disobey your Master?
Bond: There will be consequences. You know I am a sadist.
Me: Yes, I know. You untie me long enough to turn me over onto my stomach, before binding me again. I am totally exposed to you. You walk into the other room and come back in with your box of toys. Let’s call it Pandora’s Box.
Bond: Like the name. This is good…go on
Me: I can hear the sound of metal in the box. I find it quite alarming, as I can’t imagine what you would have that’s metal.
Bond: You have NO idea what’s really in my box
Me: You take something out. I can’t see it, as I am face down. You come back the bed and straddle me. You begin massaging my shoulders gently moving down my back. I am enjoying it, but still wondering what’s in store for me
Bond: Smart girl to wonder…
Me: You reach behind you and retrieve what you took out of the box. I feel it. It’s cold and metal. You say, “I am holding a knife in my hand, little girl. You know I am not going to injure you, but I am going to punish you for your disobedience”
Bond: You know me well. Carry on, I am taking notes
Me: I am terrified. I have never pushed these type of limits before. My heart is racing. You slowly and carefully stroke the knife down my spine…careful to not apply too much pressure.
Bond: Get to it…
Me: You come to my backside and swirl the point all around. You instruct me, “You must lie completely still no matter what. Do you understand me?” I whisper, “yes”. You then pinch some skin from my bottom holding it between your thumb and forefinger and you slowly puncture it with the tip of the knife. Ahhh, the release…
Bond: Do you like it?
Me: I do. It is painful, but I am learning to experience pleasure with pain under your instruction.
Bond: Good girl. On with it.
Me: You do it again. “Do you know why I am torturing you, little girl? Because you didn’t obey your Master. You must learn to do what I say, when I say it.” You do it again. And again.
Bond: You know me well, already
Me: You turn my face where I can see yours. And stroking my face you grin again. I am beginning to understand the grin. It’s a harbinger of things to come. You take me again. It is all consuming. I find myself over the edge quickly, but this time, you allow it.
Bond: Well done. You expressed some dark desires. Now was that so bad?
Me: No, Sir. It was actually liberating
Bond: Good girl. I will bring my knives on Friday
Me: Sir, we need to work up to that. This was merely a scene in my head. I hope that you will be easy with me the first time
Bond: Of course I will
To be continued: FRIDAY